Judah's Birth Story

To truly understand how miraculous Judah‘s birth was I need to go back to the beginning, when Brandon and I first started trying to get pregnant. It was early 2010 and we had been married just over a year. Both of us had always wanted kids and had planned to start growing our family a year after we tied the knot. We even had names picked out Lelia if it was a girl and if we had a boy, Judah. You can imagine our joy at learning that we had gotten pregnant on our first try! But just days later I started showing signs of miscarriage.  A trip to the ER confirmed our worst nightmare, we were losing our baby. We were devastated. After taking some time to grieve we started trying again. After a year and a half of trying without success I was diagnosed with PCOS and put on fertility medication. If you’ve been there then you know that the stress of tracking your cycle, taking your temperature, ovulation testing, and scheduling sex can all put a couple through the wringer. After six more months of trying with no success and being told that we had to get off of the medication and start trying more expensive and invasive treatment I was on the verge of a breakdown. I prayed “ God if now is not the time then please just take the desire for a baby away.” And just like that he did. But over time we drifted further from God, and further from our original hopes for a family. I knew I never wanted to feel the loss that I had felt ever again and so I systematically shut off my heart to a baby. I treated my infertility diagnosis as a security blanket. I made it my identity. I began saying out loud “I don’t want kids.” and “we like our life how it is.” Before we knew it we had been married for 7 years and still had no children. We had slowly opened up more and more of our hearts to the Lord and allowed him to heal some of the brokenness, but still the idea of children was not even on our radar. Then out of the blue while Brandon was on a men’s retreat I started having baby feelings. At the same time that I was thinking about a baby for the first time in years he was being told by several different people that he was going to be a great dad. That Sunday when Brandon came home we talked about our experiences with a “wow that’s crazy” conclusion and took an afternoon nap together. I was awakened by a  vivid dream of a roaring lion with a golden head. I sat straight up and said “Babe, we’re going to have a boy and his name is going to be Judah.” Over the next several months we began praying and believing for Judah to come. Our church and family and friends stood in agreement with us, and over and over the Lord confirmed his promise to us. At the beginning of  November 2016 we were on our 5th month of fertility meds and according to my calendar, Brandon would be over two hours away on a youth hunt during my fertile window. I was not happy about this. Brandon was not worried though, he said “ If it’s Gods timing it’ll happen.” Ugh! I reluctantly said goodbye to him on Friday, knowing he’d be back Sunday afternoon.  That Sunday morning I was half asleep and had a vision. I was standing in a dark room and suddenly I saw something dark and wet pooling on the floor inching toward my feet, it was blood. I was immediately grossed out and started to back away. Then I heard the Lord say “No, look, I’m about to pour out my spirit and you have to get down in it or you’ll miss it.”  So I got down on my knees. “No, you have to get all the way down on your face.” He said. This is not something I was familiar or comfortable with doing. I had been on my knees is worship or prayer many times but on my face?? In BLOOD?? Really Lord?? “All the way down or you’re going to miss it.” So I did it, and then I woke up. Weird right? Just wait!  Later that morning I was at church in worship.(btw we like to sit on the front row because I don’t like chairs in front of me and my husband likes to jump around sometimes!) So I’m In worship and then, like someone speaking right into my ear, the Lord starts at me again. “I’m about to pour out my spirit and you have to get down in it or you’ll miss it.”  (sound familiar) “I know Lord, you said that already in that weird dream” then he said it again. So I was obedient ( kind of) and got down on my knees. “All the way.” He said. “Seriously? I’m on the FRONT ROW! Everybody is going to see me!” I love Jesus but I’ve never been a dance around and lay on the ground kind of worshiper so my flesh was fighting!  "All the way or you’re going to miss it.” He said. And so, in an act of obedience, I did the weirdest thing I had ever done in church. I streched out, face down and lay prostrate before my Lord. I trembled and I wept and I prayed and I praised. And then I got up, not knowing what had really just happened. Fifteen days later I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! Please hear me when I say I do not believe that I had an immaculate conception! But I do believe that God expanded my fertile window and blessed the work that we had done to get pregnant!

I had such an amazing pregnancy! I felt great, had no problems and actually even lost some weight at the beginning (this was a good thing for me). I felt closer to God and was ever aware of his hand on me and his endless blessings! On our way to the anatomy scan to find out the gender I kept saying “okay ifit’s a girl we can’t be sad!” Brandon was cool as a cucumber saying “of course we wouldn’t be sad, but it’s not a girl, it’s Judah!” He was right! God had put him in our hearts a year before he put him in my belly and he had been Judah the whole time! After the anatomy scan the dr told us that I had a very low lying placenta ,or partial placenta previa, and if it didn’t correct itself I would have to have a cesarean birth. “But I’m having a supernatural birth!” I whined. I had decided from early on that I was going to be relying on Holy Spirit to get me through labor and delivery and that I wanted the glory of the Lord be on display during the whole thing. “Well, if you want a natural birth your placenta will need to move a safe distance from the cervix.” She said ( she must have missed the super part). She also said that because the placenta was at the front of my uterus it would make it harder for me to feel the baby move until later on. So two weeks later at a night of worship I did that weird thing again and lay down on the floor to talk to Jesus. I prayed that my placenta would move way out of the way and then I prayed to feel my sweet boy move. In that split second for the very first time I felt a little flutter!! Two days later we went back in for another ultrasound to see if my placenta had moved. It had not only moved it had jumped! The nurse practitioner said “ in all my career I have never seen a placenta move so far in such little time, this is unheard of.” My response was “ it was just Jesus.” 

Soon after that it became apparent that my current OBGYN was not going to be able to facilitate the natural and supernatural birth I was preparing for so I switched to Acclaim Midwife Group in Fort Worth, TX. It was absolutely the right decision. I sat down with them and explained that I wanted my birth team to be in agreement with me that this was going to be a glorious birth that brought glory to God and that I was trusting him for the timing of my labor and for pain management. They were fully on board. Judah was due on July 26th and since he was my first baby and I wasn’t being induced we all assumed that he would come after his due date. So we thought of course we‘ll Go to the Gateway Student Conference a week before my due date! We were leaders in our church student ministry at the time and were really excited to go and my midwife approved it! Want to know a really good way to start labor? Walk around a giant church for a couple of days! Day two of the conference I started having contractions that were different from the Braxton Hicks I had been having for a couple months. These were starting in my back, moving to the front of my belly and then down low and they kind of hurt. This lasted all morning and afternoon so by dinner time I decided to stay at the hotel during the evening session so that I could rest my body and see if the contractions went away. They didn’t! Early in my pregnancy I had read in a book to pray in authority that your baby would come on their due date. So there I was great with child pacing back and forth in my hotel room declaring in Jesus name that this baby would not come before his due date. And then the Lord spoke to me again “ I never promised you that, you didn’t get that from me.” I love that there are really great resources for women who want to make God central in there pregnancy and birth but we have to remember that the only infallible representation of the Lord is the Lord. I had taken one woman’s interpretation of Gods word as ultimate truth and he corrected that real quick. As soon as I let go of that expectation I knew that this was the real thing and that very soon we would have our boy. I called Brandon and told him that we were going to have a baby in the next 24 hrs. He laughed and said “Babe, I think your being a little dramatic” To answer your question, I did not reach through the phone and slap him. In his defense I had been very reassuring in the days prior that we would not be having a baby at student conference. I told him about my little chat with Jesus and he changed his tune. He let the other leaders know what was going on and we went to bed around midnight prepared to go to the hospital when it was time. By 3 am I finally gave up on sleeping as my contractions were coming about 6-4 minutes apart. I got up and got dressed, packed up our stuff and woke Brandon up. Even with just 3 hrs of sleep over the last 2 days he was up and ready to go! We made it to the hospital around 5 am and were taken to maternal observation. My midwife came in to check me and I was dilated to a 3. She told us that in order to be transferred to the magical wonderful water birth suite I would have to be dilated to a 6 and that she would come back and check me again in an hour. She also said that if I was not further dilated I may be sent home to labor there a little longer. I did not want to leave, go home, and then come back again so we prayed that I would dilate to a six and then we put clary sage oil on my ankles. She came back one hour later as promised and ta-da, I was dilated to a 6 and ready to get in the tub. My parents had already arrived and soon after we moved to our suite my friends arrived. I had chosen early on in my pregnancy that I wanted my two closest friends to be there with me not only to support me but to witness what God had in store. In the photo above( taken by my sweet friend and photographer Brooke, I am surrounded by the love and support of my amazing husband, my friends Erika and Halli, and the woman who first taught me that women are strong and birth is beautiful, my mama. I labored on in and out of the tub for several hours without much more dilation, my water broke I’m the tub and things got more intense.  I did not have a doula, but I had shared everything I knew with my husband and he was a fantastic doula! I was immersed in worship and scripture and prayer and the Spirit of the Lord was heavy in the room! When I would get to a point where I didn’t think I could take it another second I would hold on to his promise that his grace was sufficient for me and his power was made perfect in my weakness. When I started to doubt my body I would whisper my favorite verse “I am strong in body, robust, and of sound mind. I am capable of doing all things through Christ who endues me with his strength!”  And he did it! Over and over with every increase of pain came an increase of glory and grace. Eventually my nurse made me walk, and I do mean made me walk. She told me to walk up and down the halls for an hour. An hour!? I made it about 15 minutes, up and down the hallway one time just contracting away the whole time! When I made it back to my end of the hall I announced that I had to use the restroom ( I really just wanted to sit down for a second....or forever). Brandon was on to me and he came in to the restroom with me to see if I needed anything. “What do you need baby?”  I couldn’t answer. “Do you need a drink?” I didn’t know. “Do you want me to have everyone leave for an hour and just take a break?” “YES!! That‘s it! Thank you Lord for this sweet man and how well he knows me!” So he sent everyone off on an hour break and it was just us. He sat me on the birth ball and rubbed my shoulders. “Try to roll your hips forward baby.” He was so sweet. I rolled my hips forward like my doula/husband instructed and I felt Judah move down. “Oh my gosh, he’s coming! Get the nurse!” I gasped. He chuckled a little and said “Babe they just checked you and you were at a 7 like 20 minutes ago.” I told him again to call her and he did, I think he was just trying to keep me happy. The nurse came in with a silly grin on her face. “Honey, there’s no way you’re ready to push, I just checked you. I’d love to eat my words but I don’t think you’re there yet.” She checked me anyway and much to her surprise I was fully dilated and ready to push! Hope those words were tasty!! My wonderful midwife, Kathleen came in and soon we were pushing. About fifteen minutes later Brandon got to deliver the most beautiful boy in the whole world!  He went straight to my chest and I felt his sweet warm wet little butt in my hand and burst into tears of joy! He was perfect! And I had done it! Without any drugs!! Praise the Lord! He latched almost instantly and nursed for a long time. By the time everyone made it back from their hour break he had found his voice and was letting it out! We were all so full of joy! That night during a routine vitals check the nurse discovered that Judah was breathing rapidly and he was taken from us to the nicu. We were terrified. I sobbed as Brandon held me and told me it would be okay and then, exhausted, we both fell asleep without our baby. The next few days were a whirlwind. I pulled myself together just in time for Brandon to fall apart.   We were scared and angry and all we wanted was to take our boy home. By the 2nd full day in the nicu we  had both calmed down and were able to enjoy our time in the nicu with Judah doing skin to skin while he was fed by a feeding tube. Daddy got to give him his first bath, and we were getting used to the crazy schedule of feed, pump, eat for five minutes rest for ten minutes and repeat. Brandon went down to the nicu to hold him during a feeding while I showered and pumped. Just as I was getting my pump out he called me and said the best words I had heard in days, “don’t pump baby, they said you can come nurse our boy!” I’m pretty sure I ran the whole way with a giant cheesy smile plastered on my face. That night we got to room in and the next day we got to take him home! It felt like forever when it was happening but in hindsight it was such a small fragment of time. He has been the healthiest happiest boy from that day on. It still amazes me that even when our faith was shaken, God was constant. Even when we had given up on having a family he still knew the plan. Even when we had distanced ourselves from him he still had promises for us. And even in a situation that seemed so defeating he poured out a measure of glory that we couldn’t have ever imagined.